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Avoiding Unnecessary Conflict In Divorce

It is a life-changing decision to end a marriage. And even if spouses agree to divorce, it is often a very stressful and emotional process to endure. While it is natural for spouses to face disagreement, it is easy for even minor disagreements to spiral into larger conflicts during a divorce.

Therefore, many individuals might wonder if it is possible to minimize the risk of disputes and avoid needless conflict?

1. Concentrate on the future – not the past

Dwelling on the past and the events of the marriage can be dangerous. It often leads spouses into old arguments and a cycle of blaming each other, which only increases the risk of conflict. Even if you feel resentment or anger toward your spouse, casting blame and bringing up old disputes is not helpful for either of you.

The goal of the legal divorce process is not only to end the legal marriage, but also to ensure both spouses are economically independent of each other. That is why it is important to focus on the future during the legal proceedings, so you can:

  • Be productive when negotiating
  • Protect your financial future
  • Safeguard your best interests

You have a history with your spouse, and while it can play a critical role in your divorce, it should not be your sole focus.

2. Take time to understand what you want

It is important to determine what your goals are in pursuing the divorce before beginning the process. Making sure you clearly understand what you want to accomplish can help you prepare yourself.

To specify your goals, it is helpful to consider questions such as:

  • Which assets do you wish to keep?
  • What are your priorities?
  • What is important to you?

Outlining your goals ahead of time and understanding the basics of New York’s guidelines on divorce can better inform how you approach the divorce process. When you know what you want, you can also avoid or minimize conflict when you negotiate with your spouse.

3. Consider mediation

When you seek a divorce in New York, it does not mean you will have to take matters before a judge.

There are many options and processes you can choose from for your divorce, including mediation. If you mediate your divorce, you:

  • Keep your personal family matters private and out of court
  • Consult with a neutral third party, who can help mitigate conflict
  • Maintain more control over your divorce and negotiations

Mediation might not work for everyone. However, this process can often help reduce spouses’ stress and allow them to focus on solutions instead of conflict.

Divorce is already an extremely emotional process. High-emotions can frequently lead to high-conflict situations, but you can take steps to avoid unnecessary conflict.

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